Maybe a bat flew into the cloaca of a turkey and then it sneezed into my chili and now we all have coronavirus. “Science has in many ways helped ease the suffering of this pandemic, which was more than likely caused by science.” Stewart was particularly transfixed by … well … we’ll just let him tell it his way:

There’s a novel respiratory coronavirus overtaking Wuhan, China, what do we do? “I think we owe a great debt of gratitude to science,” he explained. “This is the problem with science. On Monday’s The Late Show, Stephen Colbert welcomed his old brother-in-arms Jon Stewart to be his first studio guest, where he was promptly told to “stop with the logic and people and things” and give in to what Stewart believes is the correct coronavirus theory: It came from a lab, and not, say, “a pangolin kissing a turtle” or a group of feisty bats in a market. Look at the name! Oh, you know, who we could ask? Welcome back to the Ed Sullivan Theater! What tasty conspiracy would you like to start with today? Oh, I work at the coronavirus lab in Wuhan. Oh, there’s a coronavirus loose in Wuhan. Science is incredible,” Stewart concluded, “but they don’t know where to stop.” We’d say there’s something ironic about that sentence, but, hey, he has a new show, he’s got to promote it somehow. Show me your business card! Related

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Dr. The Wuhan novel respiratory coronavirus lab. How did that happen? That’s just a little too weird, don’t you think? The disease is the same name as the lab. Fauci Tells Stephen Colbert He Can’t Go Clubbing Yet